I chased a pig on New Years Day
Tried to put it in my truck
But its mother had a say; my ear I had to pay
She bit it off and chewed it up!
It’s most disquieting I’ll admit
To view a monstrous sow
Crunch and chomp ones’ ear to bits
It spins the mind around!
It’s hard to tell who squealed the most
That enormous shoat or me
When I leapt to grab a nearby post
And smote her on the bean.
I chased her round and round the pen
Screaming terror-struck!
Praying that somehow right then
I’d have a stroke of luck.
My hopes came through, she dropped that ear
I scooped it from the ground
Relieved at last of my worst fears
She never gulped it down!
I kissed that ear, then wiped it off,
Next tried it on for fit
Strange to say, though some will scoff
It hadn’t changed a bit!
Oh, maybe slightly tenderized
Frayed slightly at the seams
Perhaps I’ll not win a glamour prize
Or consort with beauty Queens.
But the doc my ear did rearrange,
It’s back to my head attached,
No matter that some say looks strange
I’m glad to have to have it back.
Certain all will sure agree
Howe’er the deck be cut
‘Tis better it be here with me
Than in some great swine’s gut!
osolomeo 