There once was a poetaster scheduled to go
Circumstance and fate had destined it so
The devil had him tight in his grasp
Chances were slim that he’d blow the task.
But the Great Lord looked down and his mirth was soon smitten
By a whimsical line that the poetaster had written
So God stayed the hand of the devil’s vile plan
But Heaven just watched, biding their time
Watching the poetaster, judging his lines
Of course, the man never knew what was up
His expressions flowed so fine for a time
He wrote words of beauty; with substance sublime
But beezlebub dried mere mortal’s precise pen
The Lord wasn’t pleased with the bard’s work anymore
He knew that Hades was warping his core
So the Creator agreed to let the poetaster pass on
But the Almighty had other plans up His sleeve
He retrieved the rhymer just to Lucifer peeve
Well, the mischiefmaker screamed and whined, “It’s not fair”‘
Then God thought it over, Moloch was right.
So He offered a deal that set hell alight…
“I’ll send him down if everyone listens
Lucifer laughed and agreed to the deal
He knew any new lines he’d be able to steal
So the poor soul went down, straight into hell
The demons shrieked and howled in his ear
There’s no way in the world he could write down here!
But then Gabriel took personal interest in this
They filled the poet’s thoughts with beautiful verse
Each day Satan listened and tried all the worst
But it was no use; the Powers that be
Mephistopheles couldn’t stand it; his powers disappeared
Each time the verse maker’s lines he would hear
So he sent him back up, to reside near God’s side
But it wasn’t to be. Every day after then
The poet’s new lines were sent down to him
The Lord makes him read them to all of his men
So, whichever way you happen to go
The song makers’ lines you may come to know
If you go down, enjoy them there
Ah, but if luck should send you on up
Perchance with the hymnest you’ll be able to sup
Get him to write you a short little ditty
He’ll do it sure; yes this I know well
It’s the only way he can stay out of hell.
osolomeo 